Top Thirteen Tools For a Zombie Apocalypse That Occurs During an Economic Downturn
Reviews and Ratings - Top Thirteen
Written by Brainless_munkey   
Monday, 23 March 2009 01:17

1. SWAT Armor
Quality protection from bullets and bites without breaking the bank. Not to mention the fact that SWAT armor will make you look like a mega-badass. That might not save your life but a little flair is always appreciated, even when there are two major situations on your hands.

2. Crowbar
Its like you have a goddamn utility belt in the palm of your hand. Its a tool and a weapon in one, but wait there's more. You get to feel like Gordon Freeman even if you lack a degree from MIT. If its good enough to kill aliens than its good enough to kill zombies.

3. Lead Pipe
Its like a crowbar without the utility factor. That is unless you encounter a plumbing problem in your travels. Its like Mario meets Resident Evil, or Luigi in Dead Rising.

4. Skateboarding Wrist Guards
With so much melee combat you'll need something to protect the part of your body that gets the closest to the undead. You can also ride a skateboard safely with these on, but I've never seen anyone use these for that.

5. Paintballing Neck Guard
Do you know how bad an injury there would hurt? Avoid that crap with this cheap fix.

6. Molotov Cocktail
Insanely cheap and destructive. However, it can backfire on an epic scale. Good for insane amounts of destruction, but it carries a large risk. Use sparingly and avoid pyromaniacs.

7. Bicycle
A quick mode of transport that'll keep you in shape. Its easy to use, inexpensive, silent, and fairly fast.

8. Machete
A good weapon and a good way to clear your path. May scare your companions if used in conjunction with a mask, or if your name is Jason.

9. Axe
A weapon built for a madman, and is will also build your cred in the literary world. Authors like Dostoevsky and Brainless_munkey have used axes successfully in their stories. Look at how Raskolnikov and Fyodor have done, and you'll never think to pick up another weapon. You also get to feel like an insane viking warrior when you use this beast. Good for zombies, and good to keep around just in case the trees decide to attack. I'm on to you guys, and I know you're reading this.

10. Baseball Bat
Its a good way to take out an attacker, and good to keep if you come across a pick-up game.

11. Bricks
You can build a wall to keep yourself safe, you can hurl them at your attackers, or you can crap them when you see the endless horde slowly advancing towards your meager fortifications.

12. Bow and Arrows
A nice silent weapon that'll help you keep incognito. It can also be used to set fires from a far. However, it will take some work to master.

13. Shovel
Its another utility belt, but this one is Robin's and not Batman's. You can dig and you can crack someone in the head with it.

Last Updated on Saturday, 28 March 2009 01:30