Top Thirteen Dorm Life Necessities
Reviews and Ratings - Top Thirteen
Written by Brainless_munkey   
Monday, 16 November 2009 22:31

1. Laptop/iPhone
    Depending on your course of study you may have either no free time, or endless hours of boredom. In either case you will need your laptop to do homework, research papers, and all that other crap. However, these devices are number one because of the Internet. The Internet is amazing. You can waste excessive hours with reviews, movies, games, and much more. Just like you're doing right now. Show the kids on your floor a picture of a funny cat, videos of a skateboarding dog,  or the greatest comic series ever. Also, there is that productivity killing bastard that is commonly referred to as "Facebook"


2. Television
    
Even if you don't watch television, which you aren't fooling anyone we all know you do, owning one allows you to use #3 on our list too. Think of what tv can give you
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Done? Good. Without television you'd miss out on the NFL, Glee, Psych, House, Re-runs of the older and funny seasons of [scrubs], Comedy Central specials, X-Play, Pokemon, Digimon, Good Eats, HBO, and a plethora of other entertainment options.


3. Gaming Console
    
I use my television mostly for my Gamecube, because I lack a 360 here at Illinois Wesleyan University. However, I feel that had I been able to take the 360 I still would have take the purple lunchbox too. Nothing can unite a floor of college students like a game of Super Smash Bros. (Melee, not that Brawl shit), Guitar Hero, or Halo 3. I know a lot of you are thinking, "But B_m, that would only work on a guys floor." Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I will say this Nintendo games (Anything before Metroid Prime 2, Pikmin 2, etc.) are chick magnets. To quote one of my friends, "What an adorable battle!". She was overwhelmed by cute and fluffy Pokemon beating the shit out of each other.


4. DVD Player
     For those of you lacking a gaming console with dvd playing capabilities, me, a dvd player will become a necessity. On my quest to answer questions like, "How haven't you seen The Boondock Saints?" or "Was that Captain America's shield on Tony Stark's desk?" a dvd player was vital. A good movie can kill some of the free time you may or may not have, and can help you spread an undying love for The Boondock Saints like herpes.


5. Speakers with Subwoofer
    
Sound wars are fairly common. If you walk down a dorm hallway you will hear a plethora of music, and you probably won't like all of it. Naturally, YOU MUST WIN. Louder music with more bass will impose your musical dominance upon the hall. You will hear what you want, when you want and nothing else (especially after you go deaf).


6. Refrigerator
    
College will deprive you of sleep in many ways. Maybe you'll stay up to finish a term paper due in 8 hours (very do-able). or maybe you want some Taco Bell right now. When you're tired you will probably turn to your caffeinated drink of choice, and most are refrigerated. That is why I shamelessly use my roommate's fridge for my Mountain Dew: Code Red and Orange Bull (OJ + Red Bull = Awesome). Or you could drink it all warm. Your choice.


7. Messenger Bag / Backpack
     We here at 2idiots1computer would never change a Top Thirteen just to market one of our products to you, but you will need a bag to carry your shit in. Trust us. Just because a drug dealer has crack it doesn't mean they'll lie to get you hooked . . . wait that is a horrible example. . . . Disregard that last sentence


8. Snacks
    
Since most dining on campus will be confined to hours during the day, and late night cravings are common you will need snacks. Now when you're at the supermarket (choose Sam's Club or Costco) make sure you think logically. When you say, "There's no way in Hell I'll finish this entire box of Goldfish before my next trip home" you are making a grave mistake. You might not eat the entire box within a week, but with the help of your friends it might disappear after a few nights. Buy big and cheap. The massive bag of Skittles, an enormous bag of Doritos, or some microwavable pizzas. Just make sure you choose food that is impervious to going stale, because if you're hungry and see the box of Goldfish pushed behind your clothes you will eat some of them, regardless of the date on the box.


9. An Alarm
    
Repeat after me, "I cannot wake up for an 8 A.M. class on my own after staying up until 3 A.M. the night/morning beforehand."


10. Paper Towels
     Since most dorms are equipped with the simple things that make you feel at home, like fucking tile in the area you sleep, spills won't just magically be absorbed. You will need something to clean it up, and something you can throw away immediately afterwords. Paper towels are the answer.


11. Entertainment From Your Childhood
    
As you grow academically, you will regress in maturity. Suddenly Law & Order become less interesting, but hot damn is Pokemon amazing! In the famous words of my RA, "Are you guys seriously playing Pokemon? Its a Friday night on a college campus." I watched the Pokemon movie, Space Jam, and have plans to see the Digimon movie soon. Trust me, as dumb as bringing a Gameboy to a college campus sounds it will be worth it.


12. Cardboard
     This is only applicable to those campuses that get snow yearly, and since sleds are a little bulky for a tiny room we have found an alternate medium. Cardboard, especially boxes that have full color printing as the bottom side, make a fine replacement. Find a nice slope with a little ice or snow and slide away. It will turn first snow into an epic adventure guaranteed. (Not really a "guarantee" in the legal sense)


13. Something Unique
    
In the first few days at school you will meet a ridiculous amount of people whose name/faces you are sure to forget. Having something unique, like a Super Mario Bros 3 hat, will make you more identifiable if not easier to remember your name. They might just remember the hat, but it might help others' memories or become the basis of a conversation. After a while you may abandon it, but it can help start the process of making new friends.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 06 January 2010 16:36