1. Find Someone That Has Wronged You

    It could be anyone really; A bad teacher, a cheating spouse, the postman that puts your packages in the snow, a director that has ruined your favorite movie series ever, or anyone that has done something unforgivable. Just make sure you actually have something here, not just the guy who took your parking space once.
Time: Depending on your personal history: Instantly - 10 seconds

2. Let Them Forget Their Transgression

     This one can take awhile, sometimes they'll never forget, but you need to let it be over with in their heads. They might not completely forget, but they'll eventually move on if you let them think you don't care. In reality you care, oh boy do you care.
Time: A few days - A few years

3. Write an Epic Novel That Will be Read for Ages to Come

     The trick here is subtlety. Try to avoid such things like, "SCREW YOU JOHN DOE!" or "This is completely John S. Doe's, of Colfax, Illinois born May 22nd 1983, fault." You want them to know you're talking to them, but not enough that they can't pass it off as paranoia. You're aiming for the, Wow. I am a douchebag, response. Guilt is the road we're traveling, but we're sneaking down it. Try not to make it an obvious story of your life. Tell your friends, family, publisher, or anyone else that it just seemed like a good topic that you came up with after a dream the one night you lost your remote and had to watch Lifetime or a blank TV screen. You know the night that they constantly bring up to be dicks, and don't know that you weren't even actually watching the movie. You were writing an article for your job when they called you and overheard the cheesy dialog in the background. The one night that launched you into writing vengeance novels.
Time: A few weeks - A few years

4. Arrange for an "Accidental" Leak of a "Possible" Name of the Antagonist

     Slip an editor of a tabloid the real story and names of the situation. No-one would claim they believe the article, but guess what will always be linked to that book.
Time: A few seconds

5. Get Sued

     You didn't think this would happen? If this doesn't happen than you are lucky as hell, but the media attention will probably drive sales through the roof if it does. You should have probably seen this coming when you leaked the name, but you have to decide if this is actually worth it.
Time: Not very long

If you actually do this do not mention this article.
It is a joke, and I don't want to be sued.