Oh, God. Where do I begin? This movie is EFFING awful. There, I said it. I hated this steaming pile of crap. The entire time I was watching it (when I was not sleeping, that is), I was hoping for some acid to pour in my eyes so that I would be spared. I watched this turd in my film class at Heartland, and this is basically how the class went:
1:00 - Arrive at class
1:05 - Movie starts
1:15 - For some reason, monkeys are on the screen
1:30 - Now that we are in the future, and nothing is going on, I wish we were watching the monkeys again.
1:50 - Mercifully, the DVD is scratched, and we take a break. I silently thank God, and go get a drink at the vending machine.
2:00 - Unfortunately, God hates me, and the teacher decides to just skip the 1 minute scene that was scratched.
2:05 - At this time, I have fallen asleep for the third time.
2:10 - Dmann wakes me up. What a doucher.
2:15 - The pilot in the movie lands a ship. This takes 20 minutes and for some reason, director Stanley Kubrick thought that opera music fit the scene.
2:40 - The crew goes out of the ship to check a broken part. Kubrik decides to use absolutely no sounds but Darth Vader breathing.
2:45 - I fall asleep again.
2:55 - Dmann wakes me up again. I want to break his teeth.
3:00 - One of the crew decides that the best way to kill the murderous computer onboard is to take 20 minutes to dismantle the memory.
3:30 - There is a 10 minute scene where the lone crewman tries LSD for the first time...
3:40 - The lone crewman gets really old in a room from the 18th century, that for some reason is on Jupiter.
3:50 - The movie ends with a shot of a fetus that looks bigger than earth. I realize that I would rather shoot myself repeatedly, pull my own teeth out, electrocute and stab myself than ever watch that movie again.